#11 - Unit-M - Issue 0.1 - Page 11 - in Unit-M - Issue 0.1 - 22nd Dec 2018, 12:11 AM

 

Unit-M - Issue 0.1 - Page 11

 

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Author Note

UnitMComics

UnitMComics UnitMComics said:

I spent forever trying to get the layout of this page right, and I never really got there. There are also a few other glaring problems that are worth addressing.

Let’s start at the top.

Panel 1

When I first rendered this panel I forgot to include the FM Department interior (the white part of the build). Then I somehow saved over the file with this panel. I didn’t want to re-create the entire scene, so I created a scene with just the background and tried to match the camera angles.

Boy does it ever not work. It looks even worse in retrospect than when I published this comic.

Panel 2

Best panel on the page. No issues here.

Panel 3

The advantage of using tradition western panels with a left to right flow is that the line of action follows the reader’s eyes (or at least this is my understanding, I’m still very much an amateur at this).

The action in this panel is thus backwards. Vamos should be running left to right, not right to left.

Whoops.

Panel 4

My screw up with the flow of action in Panel 3 also contributes to Panel 4’s problems, as now Vamos is running in the reverse direction.

Spacing is also a problem here. This panel need to be taller.

The idea is supposed to be that Vamos’s is running circles around them. To convey that I should have eight iterations of him so his movements form a circle.

Panels 5, 6, and 7

I spent forever on these panels. I re-rendered the images and re-adjusted the layout more times than I can count.

Despite all that work, the final product still looks bad.

What’s supposed to be conveyed here is that Shield is bracing for Vamos to run at her. When he does, she forms a force field bubble.

The problem is that this shouldn’t be on a separate page from the formed bubble itself. Without that visual it’s hard to follow what’s going on here.

Conclusions

1) Too much on this page.

2) Vamos should be running the other way in Panel 3

3) Final three panels should have been on the next page.

1st Mar 2019, 11:06 AM

Comments

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...(RockB)

...(RockB) ...(RockB)

Vamos changing directions all over the place is IMHO not a big deal and I'd strike panel 3 as "brushing the reader's expectation against the fur" or so, he's so annoying that he even annoys the viewer :D

One thing I must point out: I especially love the speed lines / motion blur in the previous-to-last panel. Not perfect yet but getting there :)

Edit: Removed some errors.

9th Mar 2019, 5:46 AM

BlueDragon

BlueDragon BlueDragon

I do like panel 2 and the last panel a lot.

16th Mar 2019, 9:13 PM

Guesticus

Guesticus Guesticus

Personally don't see a problem with Vamos' directions in any of the panels

3rd Sep 2019, 11:33 PM

UnitMComics

UnitMComics UnitMComics

The problem is that he should be moving in way that easily allows the readers' eyes to move from panel to panel down the page.

Specifically, I think the page would flow better if he was running the other way in panel 3.

4th Sep 2019, 10:04 AM

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