Average Page Rating: 5 (4 votes)
Where did he fire at? Just a random rock?
(I... notice some... "similarity"... with the ending of the previous stories, so you are probably building a general mood/background for all this...
But... even while I (believe to) understand that...
Leaving it at that feels especially unsatisfying here, when they know the twins could not have been the arsonists. J-just saying.)
25th May 2019, 9:44 PM
>>Leaving it at that feels especially unsatisfying here
Yeah, the ending here is unsatisfying by design.
The system is often deeply unfair to disadvantaged groups (sometimes intentionally, sometimes not). I wanted to make it clear that that’s also the case here with Monsters, even when you put other Monsters on the case.
Orange, though his actions make seem like a tool (and a maybe a liar), really hasn’t done anything wrong here. He was brought in and given authority to do one thing: bring The Copycats in. That’s what he’s done.
He’s expressed reservations about how this whole thing played out, and has even suggested that cops motivations may not be above board.
But he’s a soldier, and, as we’ve seen, he’s going to follow orders and go through the system, even if that system is horribly, and obviously, broken.
(Or at least I hope I’ve shown this.)
>>I... notice some... "similarity"... with the ending of the previous stories
This is a little accidental. I don’t intend to have everything always end on a downer.
>> Where did he fire at? Just a random rock?
Yeah, he’s just working through his emotions by blowing shit up.
I could have done a better job of showing that this was the case.
28th May 2019, 2:42 PM
> But he’s a soldier, and, as we’ve seen, he’s going to follow orders and go through the system, even if that system is horribly, and obviously, broken.
> (Or at least I hope I’ve shown this.)
Yes, that's how I understood it. Also the difference between Orange (who is first and foremost a soldier and obeying orders and actively supporting a broken system (and I hope that it's not broken every time and for everybody in your world) is his highest priority) and Hawk (who is willing to play by the rules of a broken system as long as he can without violating his own moral code). My sympathies are clearly on Hawks side. Orange appears to have no own moral code. He's a great tool, literally, just like a good soldier.
(The thing I thought of was how Unit-M as a whole would deal with a situation like this and I suspect that Unit-M is a tool, too. That has a big value of realism but it's bad for the greater good.)
About the "similarities"... They are rather remote, more like a general "feeling" (<- even that seems too big a word, but I don't know how to express it any better).
About blowing up shit: In hindsight... that might have worked better if it was more zoomed out, showing that nothing but rocks is there.
But there's something I totally forgot in the emotional impact of this page: Super good job with Hawk's face in the last panel!
28th May 2019, 11:44 PM
>>and I hope that it's not broken every time and for everybody in your world
Me neither. The theme I've decided to explore here does trend in that direction though.
Basically, that theme is: what is a monster?
>>About the "similarities"... They are rather remote, more like a general "feeling" (<- even that seems too big a word, but I don't know how to express it any better).
The last two stories definitely ended on downers, with flawed systems grinding down our heroes.
And all of the stories so far have kind of had abrupt endings. This is also something I'm working to improve in future stories.
30th May 2019, 1:18 PM
>> And all of the stories so far have kind of had abrupt endings.
That's it. I didn't know how to express that, the impression that each story so far has definitely and once & for all ended. (<- Now this might work, only because you already mentioned it.)
2nd Jun 2019, 5:46 AM
I am really loving this, much better look at racism through super-allegories than I see elsewhere
31st Dec 2021, 5:06 PM
I’m not sure how well this story holds up with everything that has transpired since 2019. It’s not terrible, but I think there are a few things and some language that I would tweak.
31st Dec 2021, 8:49 PM
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